BONDS OF LOVE

I still find it incredible how one person could love and feel so close to another experiencing all the highs and lows as much as the loved one. I remember experiencing it along with my mom and dad when Sunethra had to go to London for a long spell. I actually went with her just to make sure that she was ok, that she managed to take along with her all her books and clothes and warm clothes etc., and that her accommodation was safe, in a good neighbourhood and close to her university, that she had access to hot food and a million other little things only a person who loves and feels for another would feel.

Tonii confirmed this describing how she felt when her boyfriend took his first flight out yesterday. She had made this long list of things that she felt he should take along with him, cross checked that he had actually bought them and then felt horrible when she realized that she had missed a couple of things until pretty much the last minute – and felt even worse when he sweetly went to do her bidding in getting the things just the way she said.

She told me how she had sat down and ‘waited’ with him while he went with his brother to the airport, gone through the formalities of immigration, kept him company whilst he wandered around the airport, sat in the restaurant and talked with a friend, and then went into the boarding area. Obviously he felt pretty much the same cos' when their calls were interruped he quickly reconnected with her. When he boarded the flight, they were still on the phone almost until take-off to exchange a last ‘I Love You’.

She ruefully admitted that she barely slept a wink as she was agonizing over little nitty gritty details and aching for a word from him. She said she felt on top of the world when she heard his voice the next morning confirming that everything was fine. And all this, mind you - for a full grown man! Unbelievable!

I marvel at the bonds of love!!!

Breaking up??

Is it the trend or is it that I seem to attract tales of unfaithfulness, heartbreak and stories of breakdown of relationships??

Here was I thinking a good friend of mine and her husband were still in the pink of love, when I hear the devastating news…………… they may break up / separate / file for divorce pretty soon. Oh dear!! Once again my Mills n Boon romances and Barbara Cartland fed expectations of true and everlasting love takes a severe beating. Will true love win over petty (hopefully) differences? Will the cynical world applaud yet another failed marriage? I HOPE NOT!

I mean ……. whenever I visit their place they are so wrapped up in one another, so loving and comfortable together, share the same wit and humour, she would experiment her culinary skills and he would be the willing guinea pig before inviting us to endanger our tender tummies (I’m kidding – she’s a marvelous cook), they share similar hobbies and interests and are such a perfect couple that I would look at them and think ‘that’s what I want and I ain’t settling for anything less’! And now….. what do I hear????? That things are not as perfect as they seem and he wants out!!! HELP! Does SHE know that the marriage is not going all that well?? What’s wrong? Can we help in any way??? Is there (gulp) another woman or (double gulp) another man?? (THAT, I hear is a common cause for marriage breakdown).

Their family and friends (which includes me – the one with her head in the clouds, the one who still believes in all the romantic mush I’ve been reading most of my life) are shocked!

A few of us have decided to offer up Masses and pray that the two of them would be able to work out their problems and that things would go back to the wonderful normalcy that we are used to.

I mean, give US a break here…… they do have to uphold OUR belief in love and marriage don’t they? How selfish can they be to split up when all of us depend on them to stay together?????

Infidelity

Why is it that guys just can’t seem to remain faithful to one person? I hear that generally their raging hormones are supposed to rule their lives and that they probably don’t invest much emotion in their unfaithfulness at all except the satisfying of their immediate (and frequent??) needs. Still it is sooooo disappointing when you think about it. Here you would be thinking that you’ve met the love of your life and you start building your little castles (are there such things are little castles?) Anyway… I digress…. You would start building up those castles in the air imaging the two of you blissfully happy together forever and then comes the rude shock - your beloved has clay feet.

That, one would say admonishingly, is of course to be expected since not even we wonderful ladies are perfect (what a surprise!) and no matter how perfect or nearly so you think your ‘beloved’ is, neither is he. We all have faults and foibles and we are supposed to see them when we take off our rose-tinted glasses. We are supposed evaluate them, see if we are willing to live with them and the owner of the foibles (or not) and then go on with our lives either with or without the ‘foible-full’ owner.

As for little ole me, faithfulness is of paramount importance. I would understand the crushes on movie stars… I mean we all have them! I can understand the lingering admiring look at a passing cutie… or even anything female in a short skirt or hot pants, but what I would find very difficult to accept is the ability to switch off all reasoning (perhaps it has an auto-switch off ha ha) and fall for the first physical contact that comes their way.

Take Jay for instance… he has been attracted to his neighbor who has a boyfriend and a daughter who is in her 20’s for goodness sakes. He ruefully admits to the attraction though has never had the opportunity to do anything about it – Did I mention The Boyfriend?

Well it seems like recently the attractive neighbour has introduced her attractive friend to Jay. The ‘lady’ has saucily French kissed him when she was leaving! That for a first meeting is quite something by Sri Lankan standards (or perhaps by my old fashioned notions– I still place infinite value in handholding and loving looks and kisses which hold more love than lust in them).

The next we hear is that just in case he had not gotten the message, she had visited her friend again the next day, who had invited Jay again, and this time she had a little done more than just French kiss him and the poor little man is left wondering ???(I wonder!) what she wants…. Well hello… whaddya think a 40 something woman wants with a young man she just met and has French kissed??

Well… that’s that in my book of faithlessness. True enough he did tell his girlfriend about the lady, but why get into such a compromising situation the second time unless he wanted it?? He can’t expect his girlfriend to be oh so understanding and forget about it…. With men and their fantasies it will go even further the next time, and for sure it will NOT be a kiss and tell then.

Oh well…. It would make anyone lose faith in true love, romance, sweetness and faithfulness and love everlasting. According to some of my friends it still exists out there somewhere (yeah right, like the dinosaurs, I think sarcastically??). As for me…….. I will just continue waiting for the right one to come along (or not) and trust that I will know him when I see him.

More on the Prayer Meeting

Remember that prayer meeting I talked about in my last post? Well, I just got a bit of news that shook me out of my complacent ‘know it all’ attitude.

Priyanthi called me saying that she just couldn’t keep this to herself. Seems like neither can I!!

During the prayer meeting, the pastor talked about two people who were having tummy problems. Two ladies went up to him to be prayed over. One was Priyanthi and other was a lady who was diagnosed with fibroids and was due for an emergency operation on Saturday. Anyways even I remember hearing some curious things the pastor was saying like ‘you now feel better, you have been cured…. (those words, the sceptic Ruani had heard before), you can check with your doctor, you are healed.. you don’t need to worry anymore. These he said with great confidence. Then he said ’if you were to go to the ladies room now you will see a difference.. you are well and so on. The bit about the washroom check gave me pause and made my ears prick up cos’ that is not the kind of thing you would expect a pastor to be saying to a lady in the midst of a mixed bunch of people. Anyways even in my ramblings I didn’t think to mention cos it IS rather personal isn’t it? Talking about about washroom checks? Anyway I thought no more about it … till now!

Priyanthi was just bursting with the news. The lady had been to her physician for a pre-op check and he had been puzzled saying ‘thibba widiyata nemai ne thiyenne lamayo!” He had wanted her to do further scans and what emerged was that there were no fibroids at all just one negligent cyst. I have heard of such things taking place… but never experienced it so close. I mean we all saw the lady (I can still see her in my mind’s eye, in a green top and pants seated opposite me) and heard that she had this operation to happen. She was shocked with joy and shared it with Priyanthi, who shared it with me who is sharing it with you!

Still, as Gerard told me when I shared the news with him is that we should always have an open mind, that miracles do happen and it is a normal occurrence. It’s just that we don’t’ hear about them and believe them. Miracles are part and parcel of our lives! I still get goose-bumps when I think about it! I LOVE that. God does miracles and they are not rare occurrences … they are everyday things. YES, I DO LOVE THAT!

Prayer Meetings

Went to the Prayer Meeting today at the WTC. The Pastor and wife who came today had a very powerful message which despite of my aptitude for daydreaming at the wrong time, soon caught my imagination especially when he talked about the faith of the people of yore where even in the instance of the fiery furnace how strong was the faith of God’s people. So descriptive was he that I could see the four people walking about in the fire, with not a hair on their heads being harmed.

Then came the part where the Pastor called upon certain people and prayed for their particular need as moved by the Holy Spirit. I still can’t understand why I immediately freeze and put up a barrier with my mind going ‘this sounds so very fake’. The others seem to fervently believe in what is going on while I stand there like Doubting Thomas. Even Gerard was touched today with two messages addressing what he is going through in life right now. I kinda did an escape as soon as I decently could. Is it just me or are there others out there who do carry a message home from such a service, but feel so out of it when it comes to loud prayer and God granting visions to His chosen pastor?